“Hi my name is Lucy and i am a tomboy I love my bicycle because it came from the new bike shop called The Greedily Riders it has yellow stripes down the sides. Today me and my family are going on a walk to get some clothes for my brother and me. I am desperate to get some new ripped jeans but my mum said that they would fall to pieces but I brought them any way I do not listen to her. As soon as I got home I tried them on, guess what happened i was warned they broke and ripped.”
5AC's Class Website
Nice use of the first person and I enjoyed the style in which you chose to write. I feel you needed a couple more full stops to mark sentences though. And, does ‘i’ look right – did you do that because you were on a computer?
Well done,
Mr. M.
Bedfordshire, UK
Elizebeth love your use of adjectives, maybe punctuation could be a bit better well done!👍🤛🏻