One morning Violet turned on her TV. The news was on, it was about a dangerous light bulb. Violet looked at her light. Suddenly something shot her asleep. When she woke she looked around, it was a stone floor with a big broken light bulb out of it came lots of beautiful, colourful beads. Then she remembered the news last night. “Oh no” she exclaimed. But it was warm and pretty, she found herself drifting of. The next morning she was back in her bedroom “maybe it was a dream” but then she saw a bead on on her top!
Hi Lucy! You are a master of suspense! I can imagine Violet awaking to confirm that the news alert had become the most impressive reality. Then, thanks the warmth and beauty of the environment splattered with beads, Violet feels confident again to let herself go into sleep. But just when the strange events seemed to be classifiable as a mere “dream subject”: oh, the brilliant bead suddenly challenging Violet again!
I’m Teacher Ines, form Portugal (Team 100)
Your writing has clear parts to the story. It hooked me in at the start and left me wanting more at the end. Check of/off as you write. Mr. M.
u are such a great writter